So. Let's talk about flaws
Okay, this may be kind of a weird post but i think it's relevant... Well at least to me.. Obviously.
We all have flaws... And if you don't your flaw probably involves not having flaws. Which would be a flaw in which case you wouldn't be flawless..
OK seriously though i'm talking about those aspects of yourself you are not so proud of and try to improve upon. We all have those right? Some of us more than others but it's a general thing. This might sound like i'm stretching it for the sake of writing something (which i probably am) but it's a thought that has lingered in my mind for a while and i thought writing about it would make me feel better.
Why? Because i'm very aware of my flaws and i get extremely angry at myself when i fail on them again, especially knowing that i thought i was trying to improve upon it just to do it again and end up thinking that i'm probably not progressing as much as i wish i was. It's increasingly frustrating.
This might seem kinda random but the reason i'm bringing it up is because this week just so happened to be the kind of week in which all of your flaws took a mayor part in an event, made things difficult then screwed things up. And you can't really blame anyone but yourself in these kinds of situation and it really just makes you feel bad about yourself.. even if it was things that probably aren't as big of a deal as your mind makes it out to be.
To make it more clear, since i think i might just be throwing things without context i'm going to talk in detail about what i'm talking about just to get a more clear idea. I am an extremely forgetful person (one might call distracted) i'm really slow when it comes to certain subjects (some may confuse it with being dumb) and i think i might have issues with anxiety because one second everything seems to be fine then the other i start to think about how a completely solvable thing could have an impact such that it can destroy my entire life. (Yes, really) And it's so strange because more often than not i'm completely aware of it, but it just keeps happening. It's like your mind telling itself to stop while it keeps doing something you know its shouldn't be doing.
I've had several embarrassing instances in which this flaws have intervened in something i've done... So let's talk about them!
A few months ago i went on a trip with my mom. The whole trip was pretty good, i met up with some family members and had an overall really good time. Until, the day we were on our way to the taxi that was going to take us to a city we were going to be spending our last couple of days of vacation on, i lost my wallet... Or at least i thought it did.
We were waiting for the car to arrive when i started to check my bags to see if i had all my stuff on me and, as expected, my wallet was missing. I checked all of my pockets, inside every pocket of my bag several times and i still wasn't able to find it...So i had to tell my mom. You can probably guess what happened from there. Yes, she got very angry (Understandably) and yes we had to go back to try and find it (we didn't) And in the end we had to travel like that. Keep in mind that in my wallet i had my identification documents and our flight back home was two days after that one so you can imagine how frustrating it must've been. Especially for my mom who at this point was fuming from my apparent lack of self awareness. And i admit that it was 100% my fault and i was probably an idiot but there was not much else i could do about it. We talked with my aunt and uncle, went on our way, arrived at this other city i mentioned before, got in the hotel and went to the police station so that we could get a permit to return home without the need of my identification document. It was a pretty.. Interesting and stressful experience. So we got the permit, went back to the hotel and apologized to my mom. She was still angry of course but things were at least cooling down a little bit. I started doing the on line process to request a new identification card until the tablet i was using to do it started to run out of battery. I put my hand inside my bag and started looking through it again to find... My wallet. I "laughed" showed it to my mom and things were partially fixed. It was certainly enough to relive here a little bit but the amount of time wasted and all of the things we made our aunt and uncle do for it was already done. I had earned my deserved reputation for being a klutz. Which to this day (and recently) seems to be something that's used against me quite often. In fact, someone actually brought it up a few days ago, kind hammering it in in a not so friendly and direct manner to.. in the moment, knowing that this had happened a while ago replied telling them that i was completely aware of that and that i was trying to my best to improve upon it. They denied it and the argument went back and forth until i ended it. It stayed there for a while with me thinking i really meant what i said (i really thought i did) Until this very Friday (based on the day that i'm posting this), when i kind of forgot my computer charger at college, had to go all the way back to pick it up to find out that i had ALSO forgotten my pencil case (Which i didn't even know i had forgotten) and also forgot to turn the bathroom lights off when the people who i'm living with found out and rightfully warned me about how much energy that was wasting (currently living in a different country in a family home for college).
And now we are here. My mind was stressed up about it so thought talking about it would help. There's still a lot more, but i'm pretty sure that wall of text from before got the point across. currently i kind of feel like what that person said about me was right and that i'm really not trying hard enough to fix my flaws... I don't know what to do about that but it's really something that it's evidently affecting me in a negative way. The last thing i want is for other people to pay for my stupidity, which seems to be the case every time this happens and it's extremely embarrassing. I really wish i could have them know more effectively how genuinely sorry i am for being like that that goes beyond words that to them likely don't mean much but i can't really think of much else i can do about it. What's done it's done and all i can really do is try to not do it again.
I know that might be an unsatisfying way to end but i guess this is the way things are. i'm optimistic about trying to change it but after doing it again, i'm worried i might be way worse than i thought i was. That being said, if anyone, if at all read this let's start a little discussion. Has anything similar happened to you before? If so what was the experience like? Are you trying to improve of upon it? And in case you managed to move from it, how did you do it? That last one is important because i'm seriously curious to see how other people might deal with this kind of stuff. i'm also aware that there are subjects that i brought up and didn't touch in this entry, but i think it's just best for me to expand upon them some other time.
I have you are having an unforgeable day, unlike me.
We all have flaws... And if you don't your flaw probably involves not having flaws. Which would be a flaw in which case you wouldn't be flawless..
OK seriously though i'm talking about those aspects of yourself you are not so proud of and try to improve upon. We all have those right? Some of us more than others but it's a general thing. This might sound like i'm stretching it for the sake of writing something (which i probably am) but it's a thought that has lingered in my mind for a while and i thought writing about it would make me feel better.
Why? Because i'm very aware of my flaws and i get extremely angry at myself when i fail on them again, especially knowing that i thought i was trying to improve upon it just to do it again and end up thinking that i'm probably not progressing as much as i wish i was. It's increasingly frustrating.
This might seem kinda random but the reason i'm bringing it up is because this week just so happened to be the kind of week in which all of your flaws took a mayor part in an event, made things difficult then screwed things up. And you can't really blame anyone but yourself in these kinds of situation and it really just makes you feel bad about yourself.. even if it was things that probably aren't as big of a deal as your mind makes it out to be.
To make it more clear, since i think i might just be throwing things without context i'm going to talk in detail about what i'm talking about just to get a more clear idea. I am an extremely forgetful person (one might call distracted) i'm really slow when it comes to certain subjects (some may confuse it with being dumb) and i think i might have issues with anxiety because one second everything seems to be fine then the other i start to think about how a completely solvable thing could have an impact such that it can destroy my entire life. (Yes, really) And it's so strange because more often than not i'm completely aware of it, but it just keeps happening. It's like your mind telling itself to stop while it keeps doing something you know its shouldn't be doing.
I've had several embarrassing instances in which this flaws have intervened in something i've done... So let's talk about them!
A few months ago i went on a trip with my mom. The whole trip was pretty good, i met up with some family members and had an overall really good time. Until, the day we were on our way to the taxi that was going to take us to a city we were going to be spending our last couple of days of vacation on, i lost my wallet... Or at least i thought it did.
We were waiting for the car to arrive when i started to check my bags to see if i had all my stuff on me and, as expected, my wallet was missing. I checked all of my pockets, inside every pocket of my bag several times and i still wasn't able to find it...So i had to tell my mom. You can probably guess what happened from there. Yes, she got very angry (Understandably) and yes we had to go back to try and find it (we didn't) And in the end we had to travel like that. Keep in mind that in my wallet i had my identification documents and our flight back home was two days after that one so you can imagine how frustrating it must've been. Especially for my mom who at this point was fuming from my apparent lack of self awareness. And i admit that it was 100% my fault and i was probably an idiot but there was not much else i could do about it. We talked with my aunt and uncle, went on our way, arrived at this other city i mentioned before, got in the hotel and went to the police station so that we could get a permit to return home without the need of my identification document. It was a pretty.. Interesting and stressful experience. So we got the permit, went back to the hotel and apologized to my mom. She was still angry of course but things were at least cooling down a little bit. I started doing the on line process to request a new identification card until the tablet i was using to do it started to run out of battery. I put my hand inside my bag and started looking through it again to find... My wallet. I "laughed" showed it to my mom and things were partially fixed. It was certainly enough to relive here a little bit but the amount of time wasted and all of the things we made our aunt and uncle do for it was already done. I had earned my deserved reputation for being a klutz. Which to this day (and recently) seems to be something that's used against me quite often. In fact, someone actually brought it up a few days ago, kind hammering it in in a not so friendly and direct manner to.. in the moment, knowing that this had happened a while ago replied telling them that i was completely aware of that and that i was trying to my best to improve upon it. They denied it and the argument went back and forth until i ended it. It stayed there for a while with me thinking i really meant what i said (i really thought i did) Until this very Friday (based on the day that i'm posting this), when i kind of forgot my computer charger at college, had to go all the way back to pick it up to find out that i had ALSO forgotten my pencil case (Which i didn't even know i had forgotten) and also forgot to turn the bathroom lights off when the people who i'm living with found out and rightfully warned me about how much energy that was wasting (currently living in a different country in a family home for college).
And now we are here. My mind was stressed up about it so thought talking about it would help. There's still a lot more, but i'm pretty sure that wall of text from before got the point across. currently i kind of feel like what that person said about me was right and that i'm really not trying hard enough to fix my flaws... I don't know what to do about that but it's really something that it's evidently affecting me in a negative way. The last thing i want is for other people to pay for my stupidity, which seems to be the case every time this happens and it's extremely embarrassing. I really wish i could have them know more effectively how genuinely sorry i am for being like that that goes beyond words that to them likely don't mean much but i can't really think of much else i can do about it. What's done it's done and all i can really do is try to not do it again.
I know that might be an unsatisfying way to end but i guess this is the way things are. i'm optimistic about trying to change it but after doing it again, i'm worried i might be way worse than i thought i was. That being said, if anyone, if at all read this let's start a little discussion. Has anything similar happened to you before? If so what was the experience like? Are you trying to improve of upon it? And in case you managed to move from it, how did you do it? That last one is important because i'm seriously curious to see how other people might deal with this kind of stuff. i'm also aware that there are subjects that i brought up and didn't touch in this entry, but i think it's just best for me to expand upon them some other time.
I have you are having an unforgeable day, unlike me.
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